Pragmatic Contradiction

According to Wikipedia, a pragmatic contradiction occurs when the very statement of the argument contradicts the claims it purports. An inconsistency arises, in this case, because the act of utterance, rather than the content of what is said, undermines its conclusion. Allow me to explain…

Years ago, through self examination, I was convinced I had OCD – obsessive compulsive disorder. Certain things – many things – drove me absolutely bonkers. I mean melt-down crazy! Fortunately Doughboy has the patience of a saint. When I would rant and rave about something trivial, something that was of utmost importance to me at the time, Doughboy would wait patiently for my anger to subside and (this is important) remain absolutely mute until my breathing returned to normal. It’s not that he lacked the ability of articulate speech. He is perfectly capable of speaking his mind and has been known to make waitresses cry if he deemed their service inadequate. However, he doesn’t sweat the small stuff and is seldom ruffled. In fact, I can recall only a handful of times in almost 20 years when he lost his temper. Whether it's factual or wishful thinking, I think I'm getting better at controlling mine.

So…how could someone have a meltdown about wet towels on the bathroom floor and be oblivious to the developing ring of fur in the toilet bowl? This, of course, is a pragmatic contradiction. And the “someone” is me. There is no rhyme or reason. Years later, I realize I don’t have OCD – never did – and Doughboy is still a saint. His self control, a trait that once infuriated me, is a characteristic worthy of admiration. In spite of my many faults, he loves me. How did I get so lucky?

I was contemplating this conundrum when I logged onto one of my favorite blogs – The Mom Bomb. I had an “ah ha!” moment as I read her current post entitled How Do You OCD? Oh my gosh – I’m not alone! Isn’t blogging great? It’s FREE therapy! Here are a few of my pragmatic contradictions:

OCD – organized dresser drawers (i.e. underwear folded exactly the same way; socks matched, folded in half and tucked inside each other)

Contradiction – a load of clean, unfolded laundry from last week sits in a wadded pile on top of the dryer

OCD – dry-cleaning is immediately removed from the plastic covering; clothes are hung in the closet via category and color, all facing the same direction

Contradiction – dirty clothes are tossed on the closet floor inches away from the laundry hamper

OCD – toilet paper roll must face forward (i.e. paper rolls over the top to the front)

Contradiction – toilet bowl is cleaned only when fuzz begins to appear (BTW, we have seven full bathrooms in our home, so please grant me leniency for the occasional toilet fuzz. If I don't use 'em, I don't see it)

OCD – bills are paid by check, carefully organized, categorized and printed using Quicken

Contradiction – our checkbook hasn’t been reconciled in nine years

OCD – shoes must be removed at the door to avoid tracking in dirt

Contradiction – dust bunnies gallop freely, and for long periods of time, on the open range of our wood floors

Now that I’ve come clean about myself, feel free to tell me about your pragmatic contradictions, OCD, foible, or quirk. C’mon – we all have them. So, spill the beans... bare your soul... purge your conscience!