Tuesday, December 9, 2008

And Then The Fight Started...

I might as well admit this post will be lame in the sense that it didn't require great thought on my part to create. But these are just too dang funny not to pass along to you, my adoring reader(s).

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust". And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 250 in about 3 seconds". I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station. And then the fight started...

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt". So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me", and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too". And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn' t been sober since". "My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started...

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were along side the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car . You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And then the fight started...

8 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

LOL I am a little bit partial to the reunion one....

Doughboy said...

You verrrry funny lady.

Country Girl said...

I'm a bit partial to the dwarf one, myself. Too funny!

Starwoodgal said...

Bwhahahaha! Sounds like a conversation at my house.

You so funny!

Judyann said...

In my humble opinion the one from the social security office is hilarious. Thanks for posting these today.

Chere said...

Thanks for ending my long day with a laugh. LOL!

Deb said...

you saved the best one for last...I had to read it twice before I got it, though...just chalk it up to the unpacking sydrome!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Very funny - gave me a good laugh.